Dating and personal relations tips

I'm the first to admit it--I am not the best-looking, smartest, or most popular chick. But darned if I don't have the best boyfriend luck on the planet.

I'm sure this comes off as sounding boastful, but I really don't mean it to be. It's just that I'm very mindful of the fact that, when other girls are bemoaning the status of their love lives, I can quietly smile and thank my lucky stars I have had a run of really great guys.

Have they all been the super-popular/killer-smile/dreamy-blue-eyes-with-a-new-Jeep type? Of course! They have all been gods. And they are all reading this right now, nodding their heads in hearty agreement!

OK, have they finished reading yet?

Good. Truth be told, the qualities they all really have in common aren't movie star looks (though all are cute to me in their own adorable ways), big bank accounts (I'm good at dividing by two) or now-appearing-shirtless-in-a-Calvin-Klein-ad abs (and that's a good thing--it's been awhile since I've seen my long-lost friend Ms. Sit-up). And as for an Einsteinesque IQ, well...just today, I was watching my beloved Baltimore Ravens roll over another hapless team when my current BF dug into the bag of Tostitos, pulled out one with two narrow sides and V-shape in the middle, and proudly announced, "Hey, this one is shaped like panties!"

What they all do have in common (aside from an appreciation of oddly shaped snack food) is that they are good guys who have, at varying points in my life, been my own personal cheerleading squad when I felt down, my own personal chef when I have been in need of emergency chicken soup and my own personal fashion stylist when my BFF was unavailable for immediate gratification ("This skirt doesn't make my butt look fat, right?" "Right?!?!")

I'm sure you all are thinking I must have really low standards if my head can be turned by a guy with kind words, Campbell's, and enough God-given good sense to know a girl's rump never looks anything less than lovely even if she's wearing a burlap tutu. But I've been with enough jerky boys to know when to appreciate the good ones.

I would hardly want to stereotype and say every guy who has great looks, a ripped-out body, stuffed wallet and big-man-on-campus popularity is a card-carrying member of Club Creep--but suffice it to say that my secret to boyfriend bliss has been to look beyond the superficial.

"Oh, great," you say. "Another lecture on dating the quiet guy." No, not exactly--though, they say still waters run deep. And I've never understood what they actually mean by that. But, anyway, more than a few of my girlfriends have wondered, "How does she always get the good ones?" (Gee...thanks.)

Why, I just went to www.niceguys.com and ordered one! Didn't you? "No," they say. "I decided to go after the guy who makes it a point to treat girls like dirt because then if he likes me, I'll know I'm really special!"

Want to know the No. 1 mistake girls of all ages make when choosing someone to crush on? They pick the guy who has everything they think they want--great looks, popularity, and a rep as the most wanted guy in school. Nice, admirable qualities, but is that what you really need?

Me? Don't need that so much. Not anymore, anyway. Want to know the real secret? I found out it's actually easier to achieve great things on your own and make yourself into someone people can respect than to try to win the affection of someone who tramples all over you. Looking for someone else to make you feel worthy is the worst thing you can ever do. But once you figure out how to feel happy and complete on your own, that frees you up to date any type of guy you want and to never again settle for less than what you deserve.

You can date someone just because he shares your love of miniature golf or The Great Gatsby or Green Day or all of the above. Or, in my case, someone who'll give you his panty-shaped corn chip.

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