Expert ideas to add passion to your love life

Like a lot of 20- and 30-something couples, my husband and I do three things in bed: We sleep, we read, and sometimes we have sex. I can't blame our infrequent lovemaking on an outworn relationship (we've been married just a little over a year), old age (I'm 34 and supposedly in my sexual prime) or a lack-of-interest "headache" (I love my husband and sex). The problem? Fatigue. By the time we crawl under the covers, we're barely up for turning the pages of a novel and giving each other a quick kiss good night. Who has the energy for anything else?

1. Think sexy thoughts. Thinking about sex is one of the most powerful ways to psych yourself up for it. Clear your mind of stressful thoughts. Take a warm bath, go for a brisk walk around the block, or try meditating. Then, visualize the steamy details of your impending tryst -- What kinds of arousing things will you and your lover do and say to each other? Painting a titillating scenario in your head will get your body in the mood by increasing blood flow to the genitals.

2. Shake things up. When it comes to routines, sex is a lot like exercise. If all you ever did was run 12 laps around the local high school track, you'd eventually get bored and your workout would suffer. The same goes for lovemaking. Changing your romance routine can mean the difference between yawning at sex and yearning for it. Experimenting with new positions or erotic toys boosts libido, but another key is mixing up the times when you make love--especially if it's usually at night, when you're most exhausted. Mornings are terrific because that's when you're refueled and refreshed. If a.m. sex doesn't light your fire, then seduce your lover on the couch after work, but before you've had a cocktail or dinner, both of which only increase fatigue. Or you might try scheduling a weekend afternoon rendezvous.

3. Use your nose. Smells are among the most powerful aphrodisiacs. Some common smells to put you in the mood include jasmine, vanilla, rose, or sandalwood. Scents to avoid? Cherries, barbecued meat, and even men's cologne squelch female libido.

4. Communicate. Constant stimulation all day can make you and/or your partner long for solitude and quiet at night. The result? An emotional wedge forms between the two of you. Feeling connected to your partner plays a large part in the desire for physical intimacy. To create a stronger bond and fuel erotic energy, try regularly expressing positive emotions in an open and loving way. Honest communication about how you feel and what you need sexually helps you tune in to your partner and leads to sexual intimacy.

5. Get some sleep. Deep, restful sleep replenishes emotional, physical, and sexual energy levels. Also, during the night, our bodies secrete the hormone DHEA, which helps produce the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen, both of which play a major role in sex drive.

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