The magic that makes bad habits disappear is a combination of focus, discipline and a commitment to having the life you desire and deserve. Once you draw the line in the sand and decide this is it, you've taken the most critical step of the journey toward change and renewal.
As you begin to identify and eliminate bad habits, remember to be gentle with yourself.
Use the following list as a guide to reinventing your life.
Putting ourselves last.
We often put the needs of our kids, mates, parents, friends and so on before our own, but it's time to reverse the order. First thing each morning, nourish your mind, body and spirit. Read, exercise, meditate--whatever makes you feel good. You'll find that there'll be even more of you available to give to others.
Making excuses not to exercise.
If you need help getting started, join a friend who works out regularly, or if you've got the bucks, hire a trainer. Then, to keep fitness at the top of your priority list, schedule workouts on your calendar or incorporate exercise into social plans. Instead of meeting a friend for coffee, ask her to join you for a walk 'n talk in the park or a class at the gym.
Lateness.
Being on CP time contributes to unneeded stress. Not allowing ourselves enough prep time in the morning has a domino effect on the rest of the day. If you tend to run late for appointments and events, schedule an additional 20 minutes as "buffer" time.
Holding grudges.
Focusing on an old grudge creates a hard place in our heart that makes it difficult to give and receive love. Let go of hurt feelings by deciding to forgive the person who wronged you. Begin by forgiving yourself for your own missteps.
Creating clutter.
Dusty stacks of old bills, letters and papers easily accumulate on our desks and tables or in a corner. To kick the clutter habit, keep only essential items from the last 30 days and file other "keeper" items in an accordion file or file cabinet.
Spending money you don't have.
Oh yes, I've been there--had to have my clothes, hair and nails hooked up even though my budget was tapped out. To enjoy these rewards, we must budget for them. One way: Instead of charging or writing a check for such expenses, set the money aside in advance in an envelope labeled, for example, "personal appearance and grooming."
Not saving money.
We know it's imperative to pay ourselves first, but we're often more eager to spend that hard-earned paycheck than to put some of it aside. Instead, begin to think of your money as a precious resource, much like energy. You don't want to give it all away and leave yourself depleted. Develop the habit of retaining a portion--say, 10 percent of your next paycheck--for yourself.
Banking on today instead of tomorrow.
Right now, how much money do you have invested in your future? Only 48 percent of Black women have saved for retirement, compared with 70 percent of all women, according to a 1999 Employee Benefit Research Institute survey. Your first investments can be as simple as participating in your employee retirement plan, buying stock in your company or contributing $50 to $100 to a mutual fund every month. The key is to grow your money, not just spend it.
Mindless television watching.
We get so used to having background noise in our daily lives that quiet can start to become foreign to us. But our spirits thrive on peace and silence. Instead of turning on the TV as soon as you get home, give yourself some time to decompress. Light an aromatherapy candle, sit down and put your feet up. Just be. Your spirit, and anyone you live with, will thank you for it.
Forgetting health exams.
How long has it been since you visited your OB-GYN or had a physical? The high incidence of heart disease and breast cancer among Black women means we can't afford to skip checkups. Schedule--and keep--doctor's appointments. Only you can give yourself this gift of love, and it's far wiser and less costly to invest in prevention than in treatment.
